The snow, the wind, the sun, and the sounds of nature can all be reminders to you that you’re and integral part of the natural world.

We are a part of everything… and everything is a part of us. It’s just the natural part of life. All living things… not just humans and animals, must co-exist. We are each a piece of life…

You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.
~Friedrich Nietzsche

I love this quote. To me, it seems quite logical. We do need to have chaos, or a lot going on in our lives, in order to make something out of it. In order for a star to be born, there is much chaos (movement) happening. So, if we are to have movement in our lives, we have to have things going on in order to create that movement.

“Cherish the energy you share with all living beings now and in the future – as well as those who have lived before you.”

It’s important to respect all living things. We have to learn how to do that… but, it isn’t that hard. None of us are better than other people, or animals. I cherish my family, friends, and my pets (my children). But, I also need to respect those around me, even if I don’t know them, simply because they are beings, like me… alive, living, breathing!!!

So, thanks to Donna coming down here, next month, for the weekend… and asking me to take her to a good tattoo artist… well, now I’m thinking about, and creating, tattoo number thre, in my head. I can’t wait… and am feeling VERY excited about it. So, now it’s a matter of coming up with WHAT I want. I’ve been tossing back and forth on what the next tattoo would be… and have about 4 – 5 more planned. But, I have to pick which one I will go with, next. I’m thinking that I REALLY want to get the next one on my calf, and I want to either do my yin yang symbol (getting all creative and adding things to it) or doing one of my cats…. Zinny or Boo Bear. So, now I have a month to really put thought into this, and to see if Heather Sinn is available that specific Saturday that Donna comes down. We shall see.

Ohhhhhhhhh…. I’m totally feeling excited. Can I actually make it another month, or should I get mine before that weekend, and save that day for just Donna to get hers!?!?!?????? Ugh… thinking… thinking… thinking!!!! Now I just need answers!!!

I woke early, because, once again, Zinny was restless, and woke me up. Grrrrrr…. I wanted to sleep until 6:30 this morning. *sigh* Good thing that I love that ball of furr, right? RIGHT!! So, I got up and started my day. Showered, dressed, and got out the door, by 7:45, and to The Bean by 8am, where I met Jenni, for an iced tea. But, BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…. where did this cold come from? I’m serious. It was in the 90’s, for several days, and then BOOOOOOM, it’s in the mid 60’s. Strange days, peeps… strange in deed.

Anywho… I digress!! We had our drinks, and Jenni puffed some cancer into her lungs. Then, we were off… headed for downtown, to find a place to park, and get into the building and room that I needed to find. After almost 2 hours, of sitting, waiting, stressing, wondering, and trying not to freak out, my name was called, where I and my attorney, appeared before a court appointed trustee, to take care of a financial matter that I’ve had to deal with for several years. It’s done now, and I can wipe the nasty past (and Karena) away with it. I was so grateful to have Jenni there with me… because I really was a nervous wreck.

So, we left downtown and headed back to The Bean, where we each proceeded to suck down more cold drink… and then, over to Borders, where I FINALLY treated myself, after several months of really not spending money on many things. I got two cd’s (The Frey’s newest… which is awesome… and Lacuna Coil’s newest, that I still haven’t listened to) and also got a book that I’ve been eyeing, for months, but never bought… Dewey. It’s a true story, about a cat (named, what else… Dewey!!!!! DUH!!) that found a home in a library, and all that he did to change the lives of many people. I’m looking forward to starting this book, soon.

Okay… so, then as a “thank you” to Jenni for going with me today, we scooted over to The Cheesecake Factory for a deeeeeeeeelicious lunch. The sun had started to come out, it warmed up a few degrees, and we got a table on the patio, outdoors. SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET!! We started with crispy artichoke hearts, and some edamame. Mmmmmm… talk about goooooood food. It was. My mouth is watering, many hours later, just thinking about this lunch. Then, for the main course, I got Grilled Chicken Medallions (Marinated in a Balsamic Vinaigrette with Sauteed Snow Peas, Green Beans, Asparagus, Roasted Peppers, Tomatoes and Garlic. Served with White Rice). OMG, it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO beyond good. And I didn’t even finish half of that. Gotta love leftovers. So, when it was time for dessert, we knew that it would be in a to go box. I got a slice of vanilla bean cheesecake. I’m telling ya… this was one VERY MUCH SO deserved meal.

I’m thinking, at this point, that today just can’t get any better… and that it is a really great day. Not to mention that it is April 23rd, which is my favorite day of the year. So, we stroll back toward the car.. start making our way up the stairs, to the third floor of the parking garage, just chatting away. Guess what happens next? No, it wasn’t something great. It was actually something painful, and embarrassing. I turned to look over my shoulder, at Jenni, to reply to a question, and I didn’t step correctly, and I went down, fast, and REALLY hard….. on both of my knees. OUCH!!!! It really hurt, and I’m very lucky that I didn’t wrench my back. Now THAT would have been extremely bad. Thank god that I just pulled it, a pinch. It’s my knees that took the brunt… and booooooooooy do they hurt, like hell now.

Yeah… so, I came home after that, because I just felt drained, emotionally, physically, and mentally. I needed a break, from the world. Thanks to my mom, I have a dvr to record shows, and was able to just sit and watch a slew of NCIS episodes and take my mind off of everything.

Now, it’s 12:30am…. and I’m wide awake!!!! Yes, I KNOW that I need sleep… but, I am just not tired. Maybe I need to take a couple Tylenol PMs tonight… and then, maybe, just maybe, I will sleep. At least I don’t have to get up early. I can take my time, in the morning. I’m going to drive out to see my aunt Peggy, and go to lunch, and spend a little time with her. I’m actually looking forward to that. We don’t always get along… but, since mom kinda, sorta, put her in her place, she’s been much nicer to me, and easier for me to be around her. (Thanks mom… boy, do I owe you thanks for a lifetime of things).

Okay… enough of my incessant ramblings. If you’ve made it through this, and you’ve not fallen asleep yourself, than I might still get you to come back again for me!

Practice catching yourself when you have a thought of what others want for you, and ask yourself, Does this expectation match up with my own?

For a long time now, I’ve really not cared what others think about me. And I still don’t. What others want for my life is their own wants. It isn’t mine. So, I’ve never really paid too much attention to what those people think, or want. And I think that it’s a practice that more people need to learn. Live your own life… because it’s the only thing that is truly yours.

“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get – only with what you are expecting to give – which is everything”
~Kate Hepburn

Too many times in life, we humans are looking for what we can get. We do things with the expectation of something being given to us in return. We expect that if we help someone out, they will, in turn, do the same for us. And then, when others don’t give back to us, we are upset, disappointed, and even feel that we will never do something for said person again.

I try to give, out of the kindness in my heart… and in return, I hope that the person that I’ve done something for will turn around and do something kind for another person. It doesn’t have to be to me. It’s a “pay-it-forward” kind of attitude that I seek to have.

Sure, there are times where I do kind things for certain people in my life… even if I’m not really in a lot of contact with them… and I feel disappointed, because they never do a thing for me… but, in all honesty, I don’t EXPECT anything in return. Sure, it would be nice for those certain people to show that they too can do something… and I’m not talking monetary value return here… I’m just talking doing something, in general. And, for me, when those certain people don’t show any sort of true kindness in return, I tend to write them off. Yes, I will still keep in contact with them… but, I won’t go out of my way for them, again… unless I feel that it’s absolutely necassary.

Still, we people, as a society, need to stop being so dang me focused, and start looking at the world around. There are things that we can all do, on any given day… in any given situation… to make a person’s life just a pinch better. Opening up the door for a stranger, because their hands are full…. and not being worried that you’ve now let them in and they are now in front of you in line. Stop being in so much of a hurry. I mean, two extra minutes isn’t really going to kill you. Picking up the phone and calling a friend, or relative, and just taking a moment to see how they are really doing. Asking someone if they’d like to sit and have a cup of coffee (or whatever) and a little chat. There really are many things that we can do.

We need to slow down, appreciate the moments that are passing us by, daily. We need to stop being so busy in our own live… being selfish, in my opinion… and start finding those moments that can make a difference. It isn’t that hard to do… unless you’re too selfish, or stubborn, to really care.

It was one very busy day for me, today….

First, I woke up around 8am (thanks to the assistance of Tylenol PM, I actually slept last night), and decided to run on the elliptical for awhile. That made me feel really good, actually. Then, I got ready for my day. I left the house and ran some errands. Got my car detailed, inside and out. OMG, did my poor Sterling ever need a cleaning, inside. The windows were atrocious. After that, I ran to my favorite thrift store, Baras. I was able to get two pairs of shorts, a pair of these cool black jeans, and a two button up, short sleeve tops. All for under $10. I LOOOOOOOVE my a good bargain. Then, it was time to pick up Jill from the airport, and go to lunch. That was a nice afternoon, and a great visit for us. We were able to discuss our feelings (and others at the church) about the message that Tim preached. I guess a lot more people are speaking up, in different ways, that I was unaware of. People are VERY upset. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one feeling like this. After that trip out, I decided to come home, and do laundry. Got all of it done. Then, my cousins husband, Anthony, drove down, to drop of the thing that we’re going to build in the front yard, over the fire pit set, that he and Lora Lea brought down. We went to Homo Depot (yes, I said HOMO, and not HOME) and got the pipe fittings to set up the tub, next to the washing machine, and I also purchased 4 new lanterns, for the front yard, which we will install next week. I’m so excited about all the things that I’m getting done, and doing for mom. And she doesn’t know about ANY of it. I can’t wait until she comes home (well, yes I can, because I’m enjoying the quiet) so that I can see her reaction to all of this. Oh, and I’ve been moving everything out of my bedroom, so that I can repaint it (shades of blue, I think) and put up floating shelves throughout the room.

Sooooooooo, that’s my day, in a nut shell. I enjoy keeping busy. It makes me feel like I’m accomplishing things… even when I can’t manage to find a job.

American Idol theme for the top 7 – Cinematic music

Mentor – Quentin Tarantino

I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Q working with the contestants, because I didn’t feel that he belongs as a mentor. But, I do have to give the dude props… he does know how to pick music to go with every single movie he’s ever made. So, he knows something. Still, I’m glad that we didn’t have to spend much time on him.
Also, this cutting down to only two judges speaking per performance? Ummm, it really lacked something, each time, in my opinion. American Idol makes enough money… so, cut back on some dang commercials. Give more air time to the show, please. I want the judges to have time to speak to the contestants.

Allison – “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” by Aerosmith, in the movie “Armageddon”

It seemed like she started out extremely breathy, but once the song kicked in, I didn’t notice that any longer. Something was a little bit off, but she still put forth a good performance.

Ouch… Simon hurt Lil, I’m sure, in saying that Allison is the only girl in the competition that has a chance.

Anoop – “Everything I Do” by Bryan Adams, in the movie, “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves”

I have to admit that I was worried when I heard that Anoop would be doing this song… but, he came out, and I think that it was, to date, his best performance.

Randy, you’re nuts. I think that your hearing is off. Kara is right on!!!

Adam – “Born To Be Wild” by Steppenwolf, in the movie, “Easy Rider”

LOVE IT! Adam just simply comes to life on stage. I’m starting to feel like this season the shows title should be changed to “Adam Idol” because he literally takes this show to a new level, weekly. AMAZING! (And he’s not even my favorite!)

Matt – “Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman” by Bryan Adams, in the movie, “Don Juan DeMarco”

I really enjoy when Matt is at the piano, because I know what kind of level of performance he’s going to give. And I wasn’t let down. I’m thoroughly enjoying Matt, and this song. His vocals are really smooth. I love the way this voice seems to just slide from range to range, without effort.

Randy and Kara were both sleeping during this performance, because they don’t know what they are talking about.

Danny – “Endless Love” by Lionel Ritchie and Diana Ross, in the movie, “Endless Love”

No glasses tonight? Nice! I think that he looks really good without them (and with them as well… it’s just a nice change up). Not too sure how I felt about the harp, on the stage, close to him. He brings yet another decent performance. Wasn’t great… but, it was good. Though, it did feel like a very personal performance… like he was singing his heart out to his deceased wife.

Kris – “Falling Slowly” by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova, from the movie, “Once”

Okay, I don’t know this song, yet it won the award, last year, for the best song, in a movie. WOW! I missed a great one, obviously. Kris’ delivery is absolutely beautiful, and breath-taking. I am almost in tears.
Randy… do you have cotton stuffed in your ears? It was an excellent performance. I think that dawgs have been barking in your head for too long, and your hearing is suffering from it.
Lil – “The Rose” by Bette Midler, in the movie, “The Rose”

It was an okay performance. I wasn’t wowed, like I was hoping. Actually, I figured that it wouldn’t be a knock-it-outta-the-park performance… but, I hoped that it would have been better.

Simon totally got it right.

And Paula, seriously… that isn’t how you critique the performance. Can’t you, for once, say something that really tells them that they’ve let you down?

UGH!!!!

Okay, at this moment, I don’t know WHY will go home. No one was horrible… though, some where MUCH better than most. I think that tomorrow night might actually be the night where we could see the judges have to really, and seriously, consider using their save. But, who knows. If it’s Lil being eliminated, I don’t think that Simon will use it. I don’t think that he feels she deserves another chance, after all the bombs she has delivered. But, I don’t know that it will be Lil that is the very lowest receiver of votes. We shall see. I’m going to sleep on it, and maybe rewatch it, tomorrow, and then decide who I think is going home.

1. What is your current obsession?
Other than reading? Well, it would be watching as many episodes of NCIS as I can possibly see. I just started really getting into this show… OMG, why didn’t anyone tell me it was A-W-E-S-O-M-E? I guess they are like 5 – 6 seasons in. I think that I have a lot of catching up to do. But, I LOOOOOOOOOVE this show.

2. What’s a good coffee place?
The only place worth going, in my opinion – The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf (better known as, “The Bean” by Jenni and me).

3. Who was the last person that you hugged?
Jenni, when we parted, at The Bean, earlier….

4. Do you nap a lot?
No, because I have a hard time with that. It really takes a lot… like my being exhausted or sick.

5. Tonight, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know. I don’t feel in the mood for anything in particular.

6. What was the last thing that you bought?
Stuff for the scrapbook, that I’m going to start working on, the moment my mom leaves for Colorado.
She doesn’t know it… SHHHHHHHHH… it’s a surprise.  I’m giving it to her when she returns, from her trip.

7. What is your favorite weather?
Cool, cloudy… weather that I can wear sweaters, turtlenecks, etc… and it doesn’t happen often, here in SUNNY San Diego.

8. Tell us something about one blogger who you think will play this week?
Well, Donna already did this, and I stole it from her. BUT, I absolutely LOVE her, and haven’t figured out how she’s FINALLY living in S. California, after all these years of our friendship, and we’ve not yet managed to meet up, face-to-face! WTF!?

9. If you were given a free house that was full furnished, where in the world would you like it to be?
Oh wow…. that’s hard, because I’d love to be in a perfect house, that totally fits me, in Ireland. But, I’d miss my mom, more than I can imagine. So, I guess here, in San Diego. Besides, if it’s a fully furnished house, FREE, in San Diego, it’s going to be worth some bucks. I could always sell it, down the road, and then move to Ireland, later in life… right?

10. Name three things that you could not live without.
My mom, my cat, books

11. What would you like in your hands right now?
Hmmmmm… well, I’d say, the love of my life… but, since I really find myself happy being single, I’d settle for a check, written to me, with NO STRINGS attached, from, lets say… ummmmm, Bill Gates, for $50 million.

12. What’s one of your guilty pleasures?
Ice Cream

13. What would you change or eliminate about yourself?
My weight… I’d like a good 80+lbs to be gone, forever!!!!

14. As a child, what type of career did you want?
Special Agent for the government

15. What are you missing right now?
Caleb and Addy… my nephew and niece. I haven’t seen them in over 2 years.

16. What are you currently reading?
Well, multiple books, actually… but, the most recent one that I was reading… “The Mammoth Book of Paranormal Romance.” Yeah, I’m a sucker for vampire, werewolf, etc… type stories.

17. What do you fear the most?
Dying alone and unloved.

18. What’s the best movie that you’ve seen recently?
Wow, I haven’t gone to the movies much. Hmmm, probably something around xmas time.

19. What’s your favorite book from the past year?
The Mercy Thompson books, by Patricia Briggs

20. Is there a comfort food from your childhood that you still enjoy?
Probably mac and cheese

You’re turn!